well, I actually wouldnt be here typing this blogs if not for my friends..yup..I owe all credit to them..how? Its their abscence that has made me return to blog.. Busy is the word I hear often nowadays..and strangely, I seem to understand.. It is bound to happen..Its the rule.

I never had to type anything and let people read..I just had people,friends,who would listen..I had to only speak,anytime..day or night..a friend for any occassion,A friend to cry, a friend to laugh a friend to confide,to console,to guide, to conspire,to fight, to encourage..friends..they were always there..ya..'were' always there..Now..I need someone to listen..someone who is not too busy right now..someone who would not 'get back to me later'..some one who is not away from the phone..someone who somehow missed my mails.. So,I am writing to u,the unknown internet reader.. I donn wann u to console me,I donn wann appreciations.I just need 5 minutes of your time. Five minutes of your eyes. Five minutes of your mind.

Well, The saddest thing in the world is when you know something is dying,something is going away slowly,something that's within your reach,so close to you, but there is nothing you can do about it..but watch..

Memories fade,I know..but so fast?ney..Its justtemporary..I would soon bid gud bye to this blog again..my friends would be there..yes..They would be there to listen..to talk,to fight n to laugh..

I read somewhere..

" When you part from your friend,grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain."

I keep reading it...true..

Hai,
Today was......actually the day isnt over yet...So,today is my Birthday.84-94-2004-2006,hmmm... 22 years have gone by since I was pulled into this world by some lady doctor whose name my mom so clearly remembers(she told me just a minute ago and I already forgot it..) and still I dont think I have done anything that makes all my years of being alive worthwhile...

I asked myself a question today,"If I die this moment,what are the things I would have regretted of not doing?" Would I be able to say,like the great Vito Corleone that "Life is beautiful" at the moment of my death? It must be disturbing to people who read to think of a fellow talking about his death on his Birthday..but we all do it....In our hearts and in our minds...My questions gave me answers that made me shiver.

If I am dying this moment, The first thing that I would think about are my wasted talents . I know nobody will believe if I said I used to have the talent of the brush and that I could paint or sketch anything I saw...And if I said I was a very good player at shuttle and I can still run for miles without taking a break...

I have the gift of the Gab,but what purpose does it serve?I make merry,I had saved my face at times but I still couldnt get through the HR with my all pleasing language that my friends fancy in me...The guys told me I could never fail a HR...wel,believe me,It isnt the only time I failed to live up!

Ofcourse I had a good nickwith shuttle,but its been years since I even gripped a shuttle raquet...whats the use?But those friends who used to play with me , Loved my game more that me...

I had the talent of the pen,where have I shined? Do I have any prizes to trumpet the skill of my pen?No..Here again only my friends feel my words are really worth something,then again...

Then comes my family.Have I ever served anything pleasing to my Dad?NO Have I ever done anything that didnt turn out to blow up on my mom?NO Have I ever given my sister,a person so proud of me, any real reason to be proud?NO.

My country?NO.My World?NO.Have I wiped hunger off a poor guy with my own money?NO.Have I ever stuck on to a resolution made?NO.Have I ever put in my full effort in anything I do?NO.

I am sinking.What would my life be worthy of?Nothing?Really...It cant be...Then the angels smiled at me...

One thing that I would NOT regret if I die today,this moment was, all The friends I had earned through out my life...Ofcourse I have torn my skin many times while picking these roses,but neverthless the Thorns showed me the value of these roses.

I have been truthful to all my friends.I love them like I love myself.I have never been as happy as I have been with my friends...

If my life ends today,I would definitely die a Good friend to all my friends,and a good man to my enemies...that,that feeling made me forget all the other regrets that would pass me in my death...I dont care,I am ready to die any day!

P.S..If I bored u,forgive me...afterall this is my first post!