Keyyan got married. Went to Trichy and returned to Chennai twice in three days. Week was hectic. Love and selfishness go together always I guess.. Trichy gave me some fresh thoughts, but nothing that I remember now to pen down. I went to the beach after long time. It was great, brought back memories.

I must get out of this mood. And if you won't laugh, yesterday I went to beauty??!! salon with keyyan to get him ready for his wedding reception. But that's not the thing that would make you laugh, it is just that they convinced me to get a face-lightner or skin lightning or watever crap I donn remember(facial). It was bad.

I was made to lie down. My hand n legs covered with huge towels. Eyes covered and Face covered with some sort of 'I dono what crap' paste which becomes harder by the second (esp around the mouth and nostrils!!) , lights turned off, in a closed room. my God!!! I suffocated. The guy left me alone in that state n left de room goddamnit.. can ye believe that???

I started thinking abt scary things, what if I suffocate? What if I(or any other person in this position ) have a heart attack? What if one or two of the other 103 things that could go wrong go wrong??

I am never going back.

But I got deeper thoughts while I was der trying not to suffocate or die... They say eternal hell to those of us who sin... If there was a hell like this, a dark room you can't speak, you can't see, you can't move ur limbs, and you cant even sleep... Can you imagine how horrible that will be? You have these random thoughts that you can't get to go away or express, and after sometime when you'r thoughts have exhausted, they start to repeat.... My God.... torture... solitary confinement... for eternity. Now death really scares me. What if I end up like that?

Today is the guy's wedding reception... I gota go... early n work wid the stuff. In fact most of the stuff I am doing r for Kn's mom rather than him... Hope he takes care of her till the end.

I haven't been able to come online much this week.. I really wanted to.. wanted to chat a lot wid the people am so comfortable with... Mischief has been mmissing.. hope everything's ok...

I love my amma.