அமுதனின் கவிதை

தினமும் என் கண்ணில் படும் காட்சி இது... இதை பார்க்கும் பொழுது எல்லாம்

அமுதன் தமிழ் வகுப்பில் எழுதிய கவிதை தான் என் நினைவுக்கு வருகிறது ..

அமுதன்,கவிதை நினைவிருந்தால் எழுது...

Keyyan got married. Went to Trichy and returned to Chennai twice in three days. Week was hectic. Love and selfishness go together always I guess.. Trichy gave me some fresh thoughts, but nothing that I remember now to pen down. I went to the beach after long time. It was great, brought back memories.

I must get out of this mood. And if you won't laugh, yesterday I went to beauty??!! salon with keyyan to get him ready for his wedding reception. But that's not the thing that would make you laugh, it is just that they convinced me to get a face-lightner or skin lightning or watever crap I donn remember(facial). It was bad.

I was made to lie down. My hand n legs covered with huge towels. Eyes covered and Face covered with some sort of 'I dono what crap' paste which becomes harder by the second (esp around the mouth and nostrils!!) , lights turned off, in a closed room. my God!!! I suffocated. The guy left me alone in that state n left de room goddamnit.. can ye believe that???

I started thinking abt scary things, what if I suffocate? What if I(or any other person in this position ) have a heart attack? What if one or two of the other 103 things that could go wrong go wrong??

I am never going back.

But I got deeper thoughts while I was der trying not to suffocate or die... They say eternal hell to those of us who sin... If there was a hell like this, a dark room you can't speak, you can't see, you can't move ur limbs, and you cant even sleep... Can you imagine how horrible that will be? You have these random thoughts that you can't get to go away or express, and after sometime when you'r thoughts have exhausted, they start to repeat.... My God.... torture... solitary confinement... for eternity. Now death really scares me. What if I end up like that?

Today is the guy's wedding reception... I gota go... early n work wid the stuff. In fact most of the stuff I am doing r for Kn's mom rather than him... Hope he takes care of her till the end.

I haven't been able to come online much this week.. I really wanted to.. wanted to chat a lot wid the people am so comfortable with... Mischief has been mmissing.. hope everything's ok...

I love my amma.

Mannargudi- Thiruvizha..!

Thiruvizhas are one of those things I 've always enjoyed in life... from very small... I feel they take me back to my roots, and sometimes take me back to deeper than my roots... more than the spiritual part of it, I enjoy the ritual and communal parts of it... 

The way people get together, enjoy, put up de show.. and the exciting stories behind every temple and festival and decoration...  Here are very few pics from this year's Thiruvzha at My grandads town, Mannargudi (very similar to the MalGudi, not only in name but also in existence!) Sri Rajagopalaswami Thiruvizha.

view from just outside my grandad's house. People-men,women,children, all alike waiting for the arrival of their God. You can see the fire torches (theevetti) which are carried by men in two rows in front of the God to show him the path and also helping the crowd to get a better view of the god on the high horse..

Another view of the crowd with the 'theevettigal' just behind them. 

Dats Rajagopalaswamy on his horse in all his glory. Man, what a scene! (pardon the dust on my camera lense)

Dats Rajagoplaswamy after he crossed our house the first time. The God goes to and fro several times visiting the houses of the few bigwigs of the town(I dono how god can discriminate, but everyone there seems to be convinced that it is ok for the Gud Lord to visit few houses alone and they speak as though those are revered houses and God ought to visit them...My grandpa's house is one such, I felt it was unfair.<-- I probably will write a post on this)

Dats me, My grandad and Grandmom. She is one innocent woman I feel pity for. She doesnt know a thing outside her house and us. My grandad on the otherhand was a businessman all his life and still as sharp as a blade (if u get the pun!!)

My mom n her dad.. :-) sweet.

Dats me and ma sis. I was forced and coerced to pose like dat. I swear. :-p

hee hee... How do I look? I am supposed wear two 'vastrams' when I offer flowers to God when he visits our house, dats the only reason... d-o-n-t l-a-u-g-h... I know u will... (anyways, I liked it!)

பிறந்தநாள் வாழ்த்துக்கள்....

பிறந்தநாள்...

சரி....

வாழ்த்துக்கள்.....?

ஹ்ம்ம்..?

வாழ்த்துக்கள்.....?

உனக்கா? பிறந்தநாளுக்கா?

எனக்கு.....பிறந்தநாளைக்கு.... :-|


ஹ்ம்ம்.... வாழ்த்துக்கள்...



:-)

nuerons...

Ok.. Its been a habit to write a blog post every birthday... well.. that being tomorrow... I wonder what I would be writing tomorrow... But today... randomly.. I thought of writing about some memories , of incidents so insignificant, yet so firmly struck on my brain in some bluddy-strong nuerons shooting out often...

Over the years, so many people have influenced me and my life... for the gud and for the bad... so many incidents that changed the way I thought and acted.. which I have forgotten, but some silly seconds of my life, some silly silly things that happened have been stuck to my mind... strange...

Seventh grade... 'Minsara Kanavu ' had released, it was a hit.. I went to bus after school and I remembered I left something in class... I came back n was all the way humming 'kaadhal rojeve' from bus to class... on reaching, the echo the empty classroom added to the song I was noising icreased my enthusiasm and I started singing loudly ""மேட்டுச்சாலையிலே , மாட்டு
வண்டியிலே , போராளே பொண்ணு ஒருத்தி.....!!!! "

suddenly 'Thara' entered ... :-) "wow, who is that பொண்ணு?" and I was like :-D and ran away...

Tenth, I am leaning on the door frame of my classroom... leg across another all stylish... Nisha walks by and with her huge smile asks "How tall are you? " and I say "6". (which was/is/will be a lie) as I am only 5'- 11 1/4".


I am six/seven years old. One of my aunt is bathing me, I clean up all over with the soap bar.. n suddenly she shrieks and pulls the soap outta my hand n says "what the hell are you doing?" I say "Amma has told me that I should apply soap 'everywhere'! " She says "Ya that is right, but wet your hand, rub it on soap and then apply everywhere, donn rubb the bluddy soap everywhere" I find it very harsh n I cry.


An uncle of mine called me 'da' for no apparant reason, but just as a matter of factly.. I mean I was only 6-7... I still cannot get myself to forgive him....

என்னடாம்மா ....?

ஹ்ம்ம்...?

என்னமோ தெர்ல... மனசே சரியில்ல... 

ஒன்னும் பெருசா இல்ல...

விடு... சரியாயிடும்... :-)

புரியாத புதிர்...

உடல்கள் வேறுவேறானாலும்

தலை எப்பொழுதும்

ஒன்றாய் மட்டுமே

இருக்கும் என் காதல்.....?

மேலுள்ள புதிர் புரிந்தோர்க்கு

என் நிலை புரியும்.... :-(

புரிந்தோர் விடை அளிக... :-)

வலைப்பதிவுகள்.. (blogs)

பிறரை விட

நன்றாய் எழுதுவேன்

என்கிற கர்வம் கொஞ்சம்

வேகமாகவே 

வெளியேறி அந்த இடத்தில் வெட்கம் 

நிரம்பிக்கொண்டது...

இரவின் ஓசைகள் ...

மௌனம்... 

ஒற்றை வாகனம் .. 

தூரத்து நாய்... 

கூர்க்கா whistle ஓசை... 

இரையும் வானொலி.... 

அசையும் கீற்று...

என் மூச்சு...

Must change. Must Prevail.

Hard times. Hard decisions. Time to change. Reinvent. Decide.